If you particularly enjoyed the slides with snippets of sex menus that we had running before and after our main presentation, peruse them at your leisure here. To save you a download, we’ve also converted them into gif format, which you can see below:
We are always looking to add to our collection of sex menus (and road maps, users’ guides, etc)! This is not only to satisfy our own curiosity (which is considerable!), but also to have more examples to post on here, use for illustration purposes at workshops and so on.
If you have written one and would like to share it, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please also let us know how you are comfortable for it to be used. For instance, you may not want it to be posted in full on this blog, but feel fine about having individual snippets presented as examples at workshops. In any case, we will never include your name or other identifying details.
Please also get in touch if you have any questions or feedback.
After getting feedback from various people, we’ve updated the blank template to include some things that you may want to include when you’re writing a sex menu. We haven’t reformatted the zine to include this new material yet (and other parts of the zine will no doubt need to be updated as well), but we thought we’d make the template available anyway! You can download it here (Word document) or here (PDF). As before, feel free to fill-in, edit and share it as you wish.
You may find these other resources useful when putting together your own sex menu. Scarleteen has an extremely comprehensive ‘inventory’ or checklist to get you thinking about the various sexual (and relationship) activities you may or may not be interested in. Autostraddle has also made a ‘hybrid’ template, with an inventory to complete, along with more open-ended write-in questions.
“Doing It Better” was compiled by the Wellbeing Team for Winter House 2016, using partly their own writing and partly resources already available within the community. It focuses to an extent on play parties like that held at Winter House, but we believe that it provides tools for thinking about and improving sexual consent and communication more broadly.
The document is shared under a Creative Commons licence, meaning that you are welcome to share, modify and adapt it, including for commercial purposes, as long as the creators are appropriately credited.
Sex menus are a tool for improving communication around sex. It’s much easier to ask for what you want (or don’t want) if you’re already set it down in writing. You can even share the written version of the menu with a person you think you may have sex with. Though ask if they want to see it first – unsolicited sex menu sharing is not OK!
Our friend Audrey has written about her experiences of using a sex menu here.